Players report card (West ham vs ManUtd)


When I remember ManUtd I remember  Fergie oh aye, aye water run away me eye.

When I remember ManUtd, I remember Scholes, Giggs, Vidic, Ferdinand, Beckham Ronaldo, Nani etc ayé ayé water run away me eye.

My people, the way the matter be these days for our match just dey make person dey wonder which kain life be dis.  Na today I just recover to fit write this report.

The match against West ham wey we suppose use just jeje stroll enter top and secure UCL spot but the devil wey dey pursue us like masquerade with cane no commot for our back.

First of all, we come late small for the match so tey fans don full outside the stadium. Dem attack our bus, delay match and still hammer us join.

We let them enjoy party for our head as dem dey pack from their old stadium go new one.

Now to qualify for next year UCL we go begin plot graph, do permutation and pray/fast join like say we be super Eagles.

The match show wetin we all sabi already, LVG no get sense for match. Ẹ go dey wait make something spoil finish before him brain go click say he fit repair am.

Cos me no understand how we go dey lose 1-0, come equalise and lead 2-1 only to lose 3-2. Even if dem escort person from village, e no suppose fast like that.

Na the players report card be this.

DeGea : he solid for us. We for chop pass 3 goals. He make some good save and he deny Carrol one clear goal. I give am 7

Valencia: he get good game self. Defend well and make some good runs go forward. I give am 6

Smalling : na just the set piece and headers wey dem use score us but him no go fit mark pass 1 player na. A pet from that he dey solid for the game. I give am 7

Blind: average game. He show some signs of sense when him no fit use power he employ common sense to work for am. I give am 6

Rojo: mechanical footballer. All him cross when he go front no get approval. Na either make keeper catch am or make he cross am go where nobody dey. I give am 5

Schneiderlin : he lost for the match like ‘person wey dem pick him pocket’  for Oshodi. He dey there but he no dey there. I give am 4

Herrera :this one dey everywhere dey do rubbish. All the foul wey lead to free kick wey dem use score, Herrera get hand inside. No be wetin dem send am he go do at all. I give am 4.

Mata: when I watch the match again, I see say na Mata even show dem where to put pass for their first goal wey Sakho score I just tire. He no really impress me. I give am 5

Rooney: for him run and pass wey lead to our second goal alone I give am 7.

Martial: my man of the match. He do well for this game but dem pour sand sand for him garri. I give am 8 for him goals and performance.

Rashford : he get good game but nobody dey really pair with am. The back heel wey he do wey waka for their post but none of our player dey to chook am enter show am. I give am 6


Carrick : he try small sha for the game when he come. Do some good passes but ‘party don end dem don dey pack canopy’ before he enter. I give am 5

Lingard : him own highlight na for bus when West ham fans dey stone us e dey.

Now we need to dey pray to win our last match and make Swansea help us knack City, if not na another “hello from Europa side” season we go enter again.

Na the players report card be that, till the next game make una remember say #UNITEDWESTAND!!!


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